Three Men On a Boat

History is littered with times just like mine and just like others. When it all feels like a horrible case of deja vu, almost like a constipation of ideas. What does it all mean?

There are choices made very often by people who have no place making them and to it there lies the depression they call the winds. And not those that are pleasant but smell just as badly. Now that simply made no sense.

Oil is really doing the roller coaster thing now. I reckon that it is going to get close to about 100 by year end settle there. We certainly can't afford it at this rate. It makes absolutely no sense even though it makes no difference in Zimbabwe.

The news coming out of the markets though is not any good, unless you are talking Zimbabwe where OMIR was up again after taking a hit before the statement. It is a bit stupid really cause the higher it goes the less money the market is actually making. But watch TA Holdings stock. IT's really doing a bit but I would get slightly worried holding onto it.

But this is not a market commentary so I should leave it because the reality of it all is at the moment sin is the in thing. We are bullshitting and still want to be on the pulpit. It is ignorant but we want to be seen as savuours of a lost generation.

Me included! And we are not the first!

Labels: bulshitting through time

The president of Zimbabwe Cde Robert Mugabe speaking at the Monetary policy presentation by Reserve Bank Governor Gideon Gono asked for discipline in the economy in the fear that the measures outlined by the governor would be eroded by economic saboteurs... I should start writing for ZBC or Herald at this rate.

He spoke of the need to shun parallel markets and illegal dealing... Now ok that's that

This looks like something of dress-rehearsal for a deal in the works. It sort of means they have sorted their beef out. Cause he emphasised a lot on working together and the whole talks thing.

And Thabs is on his way to Zimbabwe now, to have a chat with the old man over the whole talks thing. Zimbabwean sources say the talks are going well. The non-Zimbabwean ones say they are not going so well. It is weird cause you are like why do they insist things are not good?

Well things are lookinmg good although I can hear some detractors - man I should just join up with George Charamba - saying that the measures won't work and Zimbabwe is on its way to war...

Well well well...

10.50 am Opposition party representatives present and acknowledged at the presentation of the Monetary Policy. Important...

10.55 am Cash limit reference. Ten Zeros being dropped from the currency!

11.00 am New currency to introduced 500, 100, 20, coins... old coins to be used again... Old coins to get back into circulation

11.05am Cash limits to 200

11.05am Foreign currency to retain will keep 55% of foreign currency earnings

11.10am Fertilizer input to be increased and imports to be supplementary

Full Commentary on Monetary Policy to come later

Labels: Moetary Policy currency changes

This has to rank as the longest title in history of this blog.

Today everyone hopes he has a good day because if he has a good day then everyone else might have a good day. There is a lot of faith in him even if the masses haven't particularly liked what he has said before.

The question is what is he going to say today and what it all means. But the reality of it all is until he has spoken then any speculation is almost metaphysical because it has nothing to do with facts as we don't know them.

But that is the curse isn't it? Even if he comes up with the most benevolent proposals today loads of sharks will find ways of circumventing them so that the masses remain screwed. Screwed both ways. And it is almost daft if you ask me because this is not fun at all. At some point he has to go directly for some of those sharks even the ones covered by the umbrella of institutional prejudice.

That said I at least for a few days, there will be confusion and threats and threats of more threats. The word revalued returns to vocabulary and next year at the same time - unless GNU has something interesting to say - we have another zero slashing exercise.

Maybe we could make it an annual holiday...

So Teresa Makone has been found to be the Media Mole, selling the country for a teabag she was. What really gives hope to the process is that the negotiators all worked together to flush her out.

That is a big thing. It means that this talks business is serious and there is a lot of commitment from the political elements.

You couldn't help but feel that when the international media got their hands on the fake and leaked story about the ZANU-PF negotiators heading home, there was celebration from them, that the African mediation efforts had apparently failed. Only for it come to light that it was all a hoax. Leadership right there.

That said you just get this feeling that something big is about to happen. In effect that a lot of big things are going to take place that will change the landscape of this country they call Zimbabwe. It is a bit of a shame that things are the way they are but the feeling that there is an end is refreshing.

I rode in someone's car yesterday and they were almost at a point of resignation, but they had hope, just that faint hope that their optimism was not missplaced. How do you live in a world where a small pizza costs more than 30 dollars?

So there are rumours around that all types of things are going to happen.

The most entertaining of the lot is ten zeros gone and that the coins and old notes will be in circulation again. Now I might be wrong in thinking this absurd because this is Zimbabwe. It might just happen. But the person just like all others claim to ave it on good authority.

In essence 3G as RBZ Governer Gideon Gono has come to be known, will say something of some consequence this weekend. In effect consequence is an understatement of the fact. But the reality on the ground is that the knaves will find a way of screwing the masses again.

You almost feel sorry for 3G cause even in cases where he is trying to put the masses his first because of teh missing reservoir of goodwill he can never win.

I will say and controversially that he has done exceptionally well under the circumstances given the different permutations and combinations that make for a decision in Zimbabwe.

Whatever happens, it will be fun. Well maybe not the kind where anyone laughs but it will bepart of this roller coaster.

That said, where are the sacrificial cows that thsi economy so desperately needs?

Labels: Zimbabwe currency

If you were alive and knew what the world was about in 1978 then the news of Louise Brown's birth would have had you sitting up and taking notice. The world's first test-tube baby was born and there was celebration as well trepidation, sometimes all in one breath.

Her mother had blocked fallopian tubes and... Ok that part of the story is boring.

But indeed we got into a new realm that started a new race. How could we begin to eliminate nature from the process of child-birth. That gave birth to the thrill of the late 90s and 2000s in cloning which in turn gave us that infamous Korean bloke who claimed to have cloned and yet hadn't.

Now I am not one prone to conspiracy theories and as far as I know, Louise who is 30 today, has done well, now living in Bristol somewhere with her husband and 18-month old child. Also, even though hundreds of thousands of babies have been brought into this world in the same way since then but it doesn't stop me wondering where we are going. What happens next and what are we setting a precedent for as a race? I am sure that there is some level of merit to some of this development but where does it put us?

I am not taken to religious fundamentalism but what arena may we have entered into with such radical development as a human race. It is great that we do think outside the box but do we have to live outside the box as well? And have we forgotten that the only reason we think outside the box is so that we can fix the life inside the box?

Do we really want to deal with where this might go? It is odd coming from this member of the crew given that the ambition that burns from within me would cut through a galaxy of titanium but one cannot help but wonder...

And while I wonder... I could ask one question only. But even if it were asked, the world would not suddenly apologise for being wrong. Unless they came in the form of Akon

So on the eleventh of July we had the price of oil at over 146 dollars and we were wondering what would happen next because as we will all know, oil affects everything. And as of yesterday it was 124.44. That interests me greatly because that determines markets and the lot and as such we have put an oil price tracker, live and all for those that have the same avid interest in the matter.

That having been said what is with the US House of Representatives bailing out the irresponsible borrowers? Of course one will argue for Freddie and Fannie - something weird about those names out together that makes it sound like a porn movie - and the implications their collapse would have on a million homes but given that there is no discrimination over who gets the aid it means the privatisation of profits and rewarding misdemeanour. It's a farce really.

But who cares about that, when the french with their 35 hour week suddenly woke up to their realisation that if you work less then you will not get too far will you. With their 1.7% growth they have decided that maybe working as much as everyone else does might just result in more money hitting the public coffers.

But on that front I have become an expert at minimising how much work I put in with what I call THE INNOVATION. Now I must admit straight off the bat that I just made that title up now because a suggestion otherwise would be a blatant lie.

My day is comprised of 60% on what I need to do, 20% on things outside the box, and the other 20 on getting others to things that is outside their box... assuming they have a box. It is this weird thing they call leadership which means barking all day at people and taking the proverbial pee on unmarked or even marked territory.

AT this point I know certain men who just picked up the phone to call their wives with a few uneasy questions...

Labels: innovation oil

The greatest asset we have in life is the ability to twist the word and phrase in whatever shape and form. A picture sometimes looks the part because we want it to and at times it looks the other end of a beaten man's psychology.

I have run many races in life and the result on the whole has generally been pleasant but the consistent thing that had me going all the time was the fact that there was a possibility even when I was so far a ahead I was only slightly larger than a dot in the horizon, I could lose.

When it was that the possibility of losing was far removed and virtually impossible it ceased to be a race and rather a mere coronation. That is the page that I never wanted and cared very little for. I wanted more and more came in the form of the great nightmares of humanity, those moments that eat away at us when we sleep and steal our conscience when we are awake.

I am not one who is keen in basking the rainbows that paint the sky of history, after all, rainbows are rather gay. I take pride in my silly self, in the fact that when I wake up tomorrow I will have a laugh about the things I take seriously.

I sit with a sorry excuse for a phone in my pocket. The same phone has had me lose three appointments and almost lost me a girl. Of course just as well the message system keeps things in check so that we take them in. Cause what would my reality have become if that had been any different. Would there be a reality at all?

You see the phone, and it is not an iPhone because that fell into some stew merely blesses itself and sits as if the form of a woman I have stolen from another man. Now while I have become worryingly skillful at this filching of other men's women I shall not condone but will only preach that it shouldn't be done and if it must be pursued the risk attached must be absorbed with grace.

It is to this moment that we must look for sanity. For you see, when the delegations come forth with calvary, more often than not the decision as been made. The moments are there to be stolen and the result must be the same. Compromise is only an absolute necessity and both feet must remain in the door.

Chance and forgiveness must be given with benevolence. What we must never do, is be caught napping because that is for the spartans, mohicans, dodos and whatever forms that existed before that were caught napping.

Alas but there is that greater meaning that must be adhered to. Drat. That calling. But why and why should I care?

Cause at the end of the day, with a hot phone and delegates living in clouds, who do you believe in?

Labels: cryptic answer to life

They left the knives at home and African diplomacy came out teh victor. I almost cried when I heard the news. Sanctions and threats of sanctions and the mounting fear of the unknown for this southern African nation.

Two village headmen had been jostling for the chieftainship and friends, family and foe had been making calls. And finally this beautiful picture. The two shaking hands.

We had wet dreams about this believing it as never going to be possible But today Zimbabwe looks a bit better and I can see the children live in the whisper of that hope they had almost forgotten about.

I can't contain myself. Maybe, just maybe, there is chance. This is an agreement to talk but with Thabs saying in two weeks they will have an agreement you can't help but feel wildly optimistic.

Africa is ours. We have spoken. We have a moment that belongs to us. This is supreme... Waffling but bloody brilliant

Labels: Zimbabwean dawn

The dream within a dream might just come through as the two populist protagonists might just sit at that table and have a chat about fixing the country.

I will tell you that the shotgun blues are taking over a few too many people. It's the psychology of the whole nation at stake and the change is almost at a state of permanence. You see, if there is no real solution soon, then the two will become irrelevant and something else will overtake the whole process.

We have many ideas and thoughts about what we think needs to be done and trust me the theories abound but at the end of the day it has to be about the people otherwise it matters not one bit. We have to make sure that whatever happens the people have to be the main beneficiaries.

Now having said that, the political dispensation has to come to some conclusion. The masses have had enough politics and they are none the wiser because as all masses are they are driven by pop culture and they don't even know who they really like. Today it's 100 and the next day it's mo... I mean what the hell? And it is all because it doesnt make sense anymore

Labels: Zimbabwe and it's people

Another blow has been dealt to the efforts for mediation over the Zimbabwean issue after the main opposition party decided against signing the MOU. Now that is just downright pathetic to say the least and shows now for sure beyond anything else that Zimbabweans are no longer the issue at play here.

Just the other day there was this condition and then after that there was another condition. Thabo Mbeki is trying to get his hands on the matter and well sure he has his faults but with some other lot pulling the other way it is hard. It's hard to negotiate with someone who is not his own master and surely even the major opposition party's people can see that.

Now I don't care much for who ends up taking the top job in the land but the reality is that Zimbabweans are in real fix. A product costs five times as much in Zimbabwe as it costs in South Africa and even more than in pointless DRC. Now where the money to pay for that product comes from is a real enigma because the people don't earn that much do they? And the powers that be on both sides, well I don't know...

This is one of those rants...

It's getting ridiculous and teh continued meddling in the affairs of Zimbabwe is doing noone any good. Another week will go by and more children will die and for what? Because as George Bush and Gordon Brown said, they want to make an example out of Mugabe. But at what cost? What cost? And is it really worth it?

Cause at the end of the day, he is coming out smelling like roses now...

Labels: Zimbabwe on fire II

They say we should care that little bit more than we normally do and I say to the hills of hell with the lot of them.

A humanitarian crisis unfolds in Zimbabwe and all George Bush does is get on screen and says more sanctions to them. We will make an example of him. Yes of course, Robert Mugabe will get someone to send him money through the Western Union thing won't he? So yeah let's stop that money going through and starve those stupid Zimbabweans who will not kick him out,

Meanwhile there is no ranch to be back at because that is on fire. Zimbabwe is fast degenerating into one big internal resignation and the masses are simply waiting to keel over and die. The crisis carries on and all they will say is more sanctions and more sanctions. The babies will suffer. The babies will die and they will blame him. But what about their contribution in all of this.

Forget the principles for one second and thing about the lives. The lives for whom none of this makes sense. Just two village headmen fighting over who should be chief. And they will sacrifice whoever is out breathing to make a point. Noone is coming out of this smelling of roses. Even the masses must take their share of the blame.

It's like whole thing with Christianity and kids. Once the kid is born it has sinned and so is guilty. Just by being Zimbabwean, one is guilty and a pariah!

Labels: Zimbabwe on fire