Three Men On a Boat

many times we have heard historians concluding that the hieroglyphics that the Egyptians used are complicated and a very primitive form of communicating and that the advanced civilizations especially from the west developed a more advanced form- written language as we know it today, now without taking anything away from anyone's civilization our question is why are we then back to smileys...

So the politicking has started. The spin has begun. ZTA boss Karikoga Kaseke has spoken of a mystery 2.3bn dollars in deals having been made between Zimbabwean tourism industry practitioners and external investors.

That sounds sweet but I am thinking, from where? I know spin when I see spin and the statement is filled with so many non-specifics that it feels like a bit of a joke.

If there was a real 2.3bn then there would be all kinds of details thrown about. There would be one big party going on but I don't see anyone doing cartwheels down Samora Machel Avenue.

Of course the old codger could come up with a dossier and make us look like a bunch of fools but ten bucks says he doesnt... And another ten bucks says in a few weeks there will be an excuse offered as to why that money hasn't come through and we suspect it might have something to do with...

so Dambisa Moyo brings up very pertinent points in her Book Dead Aid which is about aid and how it really affects Africa, as she stands in the blue corner with her thesis in the red corner is Bono is standing with his millions,it really is a tough choice to make who to support, because lets face it, as detrimental as aid is because it encourages a culture of dependency that one day to live to see another day is well worth it, yet again the millions might just be there to fulfill a greater sinister objective, i certainly hope not, the question people should address is how much help is enough to make a change... i still think there are are lot of people who want the world to be equal ... well somewhat equal....

Labels: all men are equal sort of ....

so last week the former heavyweight champion of the world was given two days air time by the talk show queen, as i watched i could not help feel sorry for the guy, he sounded pitiful as he bared his soul to the world with sobs and tears. he spoke about his not so enviable past that we all know of, but this time there was a certain finality to it, i don't know whether i prefer that arrogant bastard that we once knew or this man now trying to walk the straight and narrow.we all loved his bad boy attitude and we encouraged his outrageous acts and he gave us a lot to talk about now he seems to be in a very cold place,The way he sounded was like a man who is making peace with everyone before he bows out,hes has a very innocent almost naive demeanor about him, you know those blocks when the make a mistake the make it wholeheartedly it really left me with an eerie feeling i will end with a phrase he repeated each time before answering any question " i don't know"

Some of our avid readers have asked us to comment on United States President Barack Obama's winning the Nobel Peace prize.

Our silence was deliberate. Some things are just not worth talking about. They make so little sense and are based on pathetic a reasoning that end of the day you end up with throwing a shoe at someone...

So we will simply say. They had their reasons and we don't care. We have never cared and we never will and the award is the joke we have always suspected it was.

Labels: Barack Obama, Nobel peace prize

So there are a lot of people prancing about Zimbabwe claiming that they can do things that remotely represent a modicum of talent and a few people fall for it, pay some money then walk off in disgust.

let it be said that the occupiers of this boat claim no talent but inquisitive minds. H Jackson Browne Jr did say this though. Talent without discipline is like an octopus on roller skates. There's plenty of movement, but you never know if it's going to be forward, backwards, or sideways.

You see, the thing is that many people come through and they do have that inkling of talent but nothing comes of it. It is one thing to have a talent and completely different thing to come through on it.

Now if that is not bad enough there are those who have nothing but effort. The singers are a just about as skilled at keeping a note as a kudu playing fur elise. It might accidentally come across the right key and even if it did, it wouldnt know it.

Some of the reckless substitutes for performance that is presented is so bad it is amusing. The imagination is shattered and homeless. No reference point and complete derogation of duty towards nature.

Of course this is not to say it is all a mess but it is disconcerting how much muck you have to dig through to come across a gem. No forget that, even a fake gem might do.

One puts a band together and well, you really wish they didnt. One pretends to act and you are caught laughing at how idiopathic though quite infrequent the moments of shimmering genius are.

As you sit, you think for a moment that you might be dead and being consumed by worms. Except you can feel it and it is a bit more interesting than the reality you consume. Until that one comes through and...

Labels: zim's got talent

It is one of those moments that offends you so much you don't do anything about it. Steeped in prehistoric culture it is a mindset that was the life and limb of one Ian Douglas Smith and has become the second nature of the newly rich and their pretentious lookalikes.

And so it happened the other day that after the last of the ODI cricket matches at Harare Sports Club that two of Harare's socialites (names supplied) along with two other friends made their way to a social gathering that was hosted by Croco Motors who were the main sponsors of the ODI series.

Now as it turned out, upon arrival the four were treated as if they had come to gate-crash the party expecting drinks for free. Murmurings and disapproving stares did the rounds as the four were dressed down, it being a Sunday.

When the four were leaving the place, a man identified as Farai Matsika the head honcho at Croco Motors made comment. 'Takuzobirwa mafoni manje' which is shona for 'Now we're going to get our phones stolen with this sort around here'. To add insult to injury another added, 'mabhoyi' an expression steeped in colonialism that referred to every black man as boy, or second class citizen.

Some people would ignore this throwaway comment but what it implied that just because rthe four were black, dressed down and not flashing their blackberries/iphones etc, they were automatically criminals.

Some would argue that this author was making a mountain of a mole-hill, but is symptomatic of a society that denigrates its own based on some convoluted expression of standard.

If this was plain snobbery one would put it down to indefatigable ignorance but this is a complete derogation of people based on colour. It is pretty obvious that if the four had been caucasian, such remarks would not have entered said minds.

Now it is not just sad that this should be the case in general but that such an irresponsible comment should be made by a prominent member of society is quite simply unacceptable.

And that when other people were told of this event, it was met by the expression, 'Ah well Farai has always been a [expletive]", makes it all a lot sadder.

Labels: black-on-black racism, croco motors

So these huge billboards that econet has been erecting all over Harare have finally come up and with such a huge investment you would have thought that would have something that would blow you out of the water

And then what do you get? The kind of thing that 2 year old dyslexic, down-syndrome mushroom would come up with. Text? Is that the best that you could come up with?

You have the money but the best u can do a heavily pixellated picture of what looks like a phone my grandmother would have bought eight years ago and some text that says now you can... I am not even going to bother with the rest of the text.

I say whoever is the brains behind this campaign should be shot. that is the advertising agency and the marketing guy from econet who approved it.

Honestly!

So then a legacy version of gprs and what is supposed to be 3G has landed in the streets of Harare and well it seems as if people have gone a bit crazy now...

I did say that it has created a wave of internet addicts but it is more like facebook addicts. I am pretty sure that if Econet did its check on stats then it would find that a good 80% of requests for connection are to facebook. After all, it is not as if the masses know that many mobile sites.

Of course it is awesome that the market penetration in as far as internet has increased but how many people are using the internet off their phones for serious things.

Not that it is their fault. After all, it is ignorance that drives this world

Labels: econet gprs, facebook

the other day i was watching Triumph des Willens, or "Triumph of the Will, in simple English and i was fascinated how Leni Riefenstahl was so ahead of her time in film making. so the opening scene which was the center of the controversial film opens with a very long birds eye view scene of the sky and clouds as if a GOD or a messiah is coming to earth to save all humanity, the prince of peace cometh, and indeed when the plane lands a smiling short man emerges from the belly of the bird much to the joy of those who waited for his coming...this would have been perfect for any closing scene of any play based on the book of revelations ... but this was not the end times it was 1934 Nuremberg Germany and the supposed prince of peace was Adolf himself. Leni Riefenstahl was ostracized for being part of the propagada machine yet this was a beautiful film who's camera angles and focus were revolutionary at the time, it is easy to now tell where the tradition by all politicians and heads of states comes from where they arrive in planes and the scenes of the plane landing are usually shown what people dont realise is that before Triumph des Willens most leaders had not cared about their arrival but some presidents even now have special authoritative names for their planes like AIRFORCE ONE which creates the illusion of a one of its kind image. Any one wanting to learn how to be a clever movie director should watch this.

It was not until just after one in the morning that the first lady of Durban's Finest decided to get on the decks and spin her web for the masses.

But soon enough she had the masses attempting to sing along to songs that they didn't even know. The number of people who just stood at the DJ Box and just watched her work was astounding. They danced as well but they could scarcely believe how good she was.

She teased the audience. She played with their emotions and then had them bursting at the seams wondering what was happening. She was hypnotic.

Now I am one who was impressed by Euphonik's visit to Harare but Cndo was a shade better. I don't know what it was but she had a different flavour. Maybe it is because Durban owns house right now

Either way, she made a fan out of a whole heap of people, not least this oarsman without an oar

Labels: dj cndo

A friend of mine recently met his long lost girlfriend on facebook, and so they have been dating online for the past two years. They have not met each other yet since their high school days a good 10 or so years ago because well their live just took separate paths. After all, it was just high school but with a serious shortage of good partners from home in the Diaspora both of them have revised their position on dating long distance and are both talking marriage… The girl swears that she still looks hot as she did in high school although all the pictures she sends are at least 5 years old my friend is madly in love and simply cannot see this rather minor but key fact. Now his girl’s passport got lost in the British home office and the boyfriend is a broke student in America who has filed for economic hardship and therefore cannot travel. The other day I heard my friend discussing how best he can get himself to England at least if the girl’s asylum is granted he will also gain easy passage to be a British citizen and get all those lovely benefits like free health care , and pension that he will never get in America. The two spoke at length and the girl hinted that it would be easier if they had a baby born in England that was the surest way of ensuring their indefinite stay but the sticky point was how the girl was going to be pregnant... I stood there and listened not wanting to burst their bubble by asking what if one day the world is run under the new world order system of one government and therefore making the issue of being a citizen of one country or the other insignificant in the grand scheme of things… anyway I interjected their phone conversation by saying
“how about FEDEX “
“Fedex” my friend asked
“Yes FedEx” I replied
“Like mail your seed”
“Seed “
“Yes your sperm”
“Mail it to her”
“But she’s a virgin”
“She is?”
“Yes”
“Well then, she can be a pregnant virgin…..” even as I said that it did not sound right so I just walked away.

So then I have had not too random threats made against life and limb for not having been on the blogosphere for a moment and half. Yes we do have a few readers who have turned us into a rite but in reality we are just people with a moment to comment on social consequence.

I claim many things and some of them I have no right to but the world has a sweet aroma in the midst of all of the stench. What that means is that we have a lot of things that happen that we do not like but we tend to tolerate but the whiffs of magic that steal through the madness make it all worthwhile.

Night life has become something of a hectic schedule for the team to the extent that it has played ping pong with our nocturnal habits. We want to sleep but we find ourselves out and prancing about. We are not sure why but it happens.

Now if that is not stupid enough we come across people with blank minds high on a cocktail of booze and marijuana and being of not so sound mind we have arguments with them over some whore whose face we will not remember.

I am not saying it's not fun while it happens. It is stupid though

Labels: stupidity is not a theory