Three Men On a Boat

So across the world, on Sundays, sometimes every other day you can think of Christians as they would like to call it engage in the custom of attending a ritualistic weekly assembly they like to call church. In all their various colours they claim a right to God and denouncing those of a different faith, very often others who call themselves Christians as well.

Now I am not about to go into the whole doctrine thing just in case there is a Christian version of what Sulman Rushdie is having to deal with. Mind you, you don't go around penning a book called the Satanic verses and not expect to have a few people interested in severing your head clean off your neck. It comes with the territory.

I usually have conversations with church people - one of whom is currently most beloved to me - and it goes a bit like this.

Me: Oh you go to church then..
Church Goer(from here to be known as CC): Yeah!
Me(with disinterested look on face): Oh cool
CC: And you?
Me: Nah. Church is not my thing
CC(with shocked look on face like i just stole money or somebody's wife): Whatt's wrong with you? (followed by some lecture or the other about how Jesus is this or the other.

You see I am ok with fundamentalists and their ilk doing what they need to do as long as they leave me alone. You dig? I mean like you get told that you are going to hell, or to death by infinity squared if you dont turn to where they want you to turn yeah?

But then I don't look at them with the expression of one whose very existence has become untenable do i? Liberalism is gay, yes, because it does not tolerate the conservative, but that is a matter for an entirely different discourse.

For now I will have darts shot at my eye by the run-of-the-mill bag-eyed fundamentalist because it makes them feel better. And me? I just don't care.

Labels: church

So a certain president in a soon to be formerly troubled southern African soon to be powerhouse turned 85 on the 21st of February.

I am sure it was the first happy birthday in a while, what with all the crazy things that having happening in that country. But it isnt like he can go to club or something like that because frankly speaking being 85 is not much fun.

Well you might want it to be fun but it is terribly hard to imagine this esteemed gentleman getting down to DJ Cleo's How low can you go. Add to that the fact that he probably thinks it is all just pointless noise.

Mind you he just has no ideas what Saturdays are anymore. Mind you with the way the economy has been for the last couple of years the people of that southern African country generally cant tell what day of the week it is because they have to work all days including imaginary days.

Ah but then he did get to 85 which is more than one can say for loads of people and among them including those who wish he was still-born. Laws of nature will tell you that this would have not mattered because if it hadn't been him it would have been someone else. That is just how things work you see.

So being 85, well, I don't know what to think of it. Mind you he is not like the average geriatric whose main characteristic other than taking a shit in their own pants includes falling asleep in the middle of a word, never mind sentence.

It is hard.

So have a glass old guy. You deserve it. Especially after the last ten years you totally deserve it.

Labels: Mugabe Birthday

The biggest and most important aspect of any venture in life is marketing and women define the ultimate experts in this. It is in the way she turns her head, walks, bats her eyelid. Pretty much everything a woman and I suppose homosexual (and metro-sexual men) is choreographed. However the members of this boat being old fashioned and what not we have a tendency to ignore David Beckham and Elton John’s nuances. That is their thing and we have ours too.

So then it is that we have this thing we like about women and more often than not from the moment they notice that tingling feeling that comes with meeting a guy they like they feel the need to be well-marketed in the vicinity of said male.

What you must understand however is that they will deny this and many simply because they are bad marketers or that they think being called a marketer is too harsh a phrase. They would rather be called people of taste or whatever. Not true.

Think of the two cornerstones of a great marketing concept. Effectiveness(getting the desired result) and efficiency(reducing the waste).

Now if a 92 year old woman with one and a quarter heartbeats left can turn one head in a day she will got to town about it. For her that may be the desired result. OF course for the more direct marketing lot in the red light district it would be coitus but that is a discussion meant for another blog posting. For the average the appreciation of the talent they have and how they have accentuated is a lot.

After all women live for compliments then don’t they?

And as for the effectiveness.. Just look at the number of subscribers!

Labels: women

It is one day before Zimbabwe says that they have a Prime Minister for the first time in about 22 years. Back then the current President Robert Mugabe held that post until the signing of a Unity Accord with PF ZAPU leader, Joshua Nkomo.

Now that is the history lesson aside but what does this really mean for the people of Zimbabwe. The realities are not quite defined but it will hopefully mean hat political talk will not be so widespread as it was before. It had become too commonplace among the masses, the majority pretending to be experts on matters that they knew astoundingly little about and therefore becoming the consummate rumour mongers.

Whatever happens many things are going to change and even members of the intelligence community are saying that things are already undergoing a dramatic reconstruction. And if things are going on there then surely it must mean that something will change for the commoners.

Of course one must not be so quick as to forget the sharp differences that exist between these two groups. But that said as one member of the MDC said to me in Saturday the choices were limited. And that is where Zimbabwe finds itself right now. This or really nothing else.

Labels: the zimbabwe a day before

So in what is turning into a habit, Zimbabwe's central bank lopped off another 12 zeroes bringing to 26 the number of zeroes that have been taken off the currency since the whole things started.

Now there was a point it was borderline funny but now it is just hilarious.

Other highlights that have had a few people screaming blue murder all water and electrictiy tariffs shall be in foreign currency (read USD and Rand) for people living in the low density areas while in those in high density will pay in the local currency.

Also pretty much every company in the country can now deal in forex and not need to pay the twenty grand that was needed before. Ah well.

Other than that not that much. It seems as if it was a statement waiting for something. He seemed to be trying to justify what he has been up to and well he was. Let's see what happens

Labels: RBZ zeroes

One of the saddest things among my fellow Africans is their indifference to the African tragedies. As was shown by my white brothers, when one of their kin was troubled within the land of Zimbabwe millions were made to suffer as punishment for one of theirs.

Often tragedies among Africans are given a cursory glance by the brotherhood and no real pain is felt.

Today Africa mourns the loss of its own in a tragic fire in Nairobi. Details are coming through but innocents today must be mourned through this great continent. For even if we never knew them our destinies and theirs are the same.

We are one and we take a moment to think of them in this tragic hour.

Labels: kenya tragedy