Three Men On a Boat
Friday, October 31, 2008
money making experiments need you
Guinea pigs are short-eared domesticated rodents from South America. In some tribes, the Guinea pig is revered as a gastronomic delicacy, the name may throw most of you off.. its is in no way good old Porky pig s' distant cousin save for, the shrieks it makes. it is more like the mbeva some of you are so fond of.From the 17th century upto the 2oth century, these animals were used as models of biological experimentation which resulted in the progress in medicine that we all now benefit from .Somewhere along the line someone thought that they were cute and the animal is now a beloved pet in most western countries, and has been spared the axe. PET ?? talk about kutambisa nyama.
So anyway that is the brief history and science of the Guinea pig,but that is not to say that experiments on other species have also stopped.Take for instance the homo sapiens sapiens, yes you why you surprised ? you are part of a gigantic science lab that tests how stupid you are, and the saddest part is you don't even know it. you are worse than the defenseless guinea pig all he could do is shriek but you just rush towards the light with your blind faith about things you know nothing of.
oh so you got a Bachelors in law or maybe a MBA or PhD in physics , so you now walk around with your all knowing nose in the air. Ok let me tell you this... those years you spent in that university were years spent on preparing your mind to be the perfect Guinea pig that you now are. Yes dont deny thats what you are, you are the subject of an experiment run by a few men who decided who you are, what you do. YOU ? a what ?? i didn't hear that ? an individual ? now dont make me laugh... seriously.
The fact of the matter is you lack ambition, you are content with your pitiful degree that you got and didnt learn anything, you are content with the little jobs and the little titles of chief accountant and project manager that come with it, yes we know that title and the business cards we print for you are adequate to fulfill your little fantasies.You are content with the little car that we give you and those peanuts you get at the end of the month, you are contemptuous.
But its not all bad, we need people with small minds like you, yes we need you, so that you scratch your head thinking of how you will buy all the junk we throw in your face, yes get that credit, beg for that job so you can buy my MP3 my expensive shoes bags and clothes. you want to be progressive and show off that you got the latest you are a conceited imbecile, you can never be an individual , never yes look at what you wearing... now look around there are about 500 000 of you wearing that so dont talk of your individuality you do what we tell you period.
After all those are the goals we have set for your little lives, we need you to consume that is your sole purpose here.. eat bathroom eat.. thats all you do, we have managed to successfully dehumanize you into shopping and mall loving beings.
i cnt even call you a person you are a being a thing. You are as thick as a plank you dont think for yourselves tv is the gospel truth for you and pizza cakes and soda and beer your heaven. and you are a very loyal pet. And dont think that you have contributed anything to this planet you are an insignificant aspect just waiting for your turn to die, at least the Giunea pigs died to save human lives your contribution is to fill the pockets of others with money thats all.
Labels: Educated Fool
Thursday, October 30, 2008
testing the waters for time
And then there was time. I mean the beginning of it all and not in the sense of there being a beginning in the sense of the existence of God. But time to be whatever you want to be, space wherever you wntr it to be... and religion in shape and form...
You see today I will not write to you about the obvious state of the world but the subtle difference between moving, walking and running. That however depends on whether that captures my attention for long enough before i roll myself into a ball and hope to whatever form out there that when i open up, i won be dead.
Because death is only one step away and that step is often so close to the edge that you don't realise it. This could be my last blog ever and you wouldn't know it. I could walk out iof this room and across the street to chicken inn and get stabbed to death, get hit by a car, or suffer from the unlikely event of a heart attack?
Tragic? Maybe.
But who is watching?
Because it is nothing but movement in a solid direction. The stupefied and yet glorified ignorance of the masses on friday if they say allah and saturday or sunday if they say god. And somewhere one has declared war on me because of what they term blasphemy. I must be killed. And woe must be the child who calls me dad. And that there should never be a woman who will lie in my bed every night and give me the peace of a thousand nights.
Does it feel stupid but I am moved and yet never closer because the direction doesnt make sense
Or do you think these are the gentle rants of a raving lunatic, wishing that this wasn't some sort of big joke,
Because no matter what you believe, it is you know...
You see today I will not write to you about the obvious state of the world but the subtle difference between moving, walking and running. That however depends on whether that captures my attention for long enough before i roll myself into a ball and hope to whatever form out there that when i open up, i won be dead.
Because death is only one step away and that step is often so close to the edge that you don't realise it. This could be my last blog ever and you wouldn't know it. I could walk out iof this room and across the street to chicken inn and get stabbed to death, get hit by a car, or suffer from the unlikely event of a heart attack?
Tragic? Maybe.
But who is watching?
Because it is nothing but movement in a solid direction. The stupefied and yet glorified ignorance of the masses on friday if they say allah and saturday or sunday if they say god. And somewhere one has declared war on me because of what they term blasphemy. I must be killed. And woe must be the child who calls me dad. And that there should never be a woman who will lie in my bed every night and give me the peace of a thousand nights.
Does it feel stupid but I am moved and yet never closer because the direction doesnt make sense
Or do you think these are the gentle rants of a raving lunatic, wishing that this wasn't some sort of big joke,
Because no matter what you believe, it is you know...
Labels: testing time..
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Zimbabwean optimism disappears
To many people across the world the thing in Zimbabwe is well, something tragic but a joke that is happening miles away. It is part of a circus and mountains don't really have to move for something to happen.
They say well, the Zimbabweans have already gone through so much so they can hold on a little longer. But meanwhile a humanitarian crisis of mind0numbing proportion grips the masses and holds them by a string over a blade.
Basically the people are screwed because two men with egos can't woirk together.
And to top it all off, the optimism is gone. They dont feel the sincerity of either side. In fact one ardent MDC supporter I was talking to yesterday said they should just let Mugabe rule until he dies so people can move on.
It is resignation because the faith is gone. The belief that the MDC would be different is gone. And a depression sets in. Some want to get out but haven't the foggiest where they will go to because they were not planning to leave were they?
So to hell with them, they say... after all, they are at the end of the day, politicians and it is part of a spin...
Ban Ki Moon seems to have said smething that makes sense for the first time. He has called for a decisive summit this time. That is a summit that says this is the way to go or else. But after how many people have died?
What must the human cost be before these idiots realise what is going on? When the best have died or left and the country is in ruins, what will they govern over?
Labels: Zimbabwe optimism gone
Monday, October 27, 2008
zimbabwe deal talks being finalised
Reliable sources have it that the Zimbabwe deal is close to being completed as the leaders of the opposition sat down with Zimbabwean president Robert Mugabe on Monday in Harare under the eye of a SADC leadership team.
A source very close to events provided information to the effect that both sides had made considerable concessions to come to a deal on the allocation of ministries.
However this could not be confirmed by another source and therefore cannot be accepted as fact.
Both sides however seem to realise that there is more to lose from the failure to produce a deal as walking away at this moment could prove costly.
Labels: Zimbabwe deal update
zimbabwe dollar now demonetised?
You walk into just about every well-stocked shop in Zimbabwe you will find charges for goods in United States Dollars. Now that would be all very well if those were all imported goods but you can't a a bread roll for Zimbabwe dollars now in a lot of places.
You see since the Reserve Bank allowed shops to deal in United States dollars the shops have now gone over the rails and priced pretty much everything in George Bush's currency. And as if that is not bad enough, it is at about three or four times what you will pay for the same or similar product across the border whichever way you look.
It's become so bad that we are now more expensive a destination than the war ravaged DRC. Except there you could a bullet stuck into your arse for no reason.
The oddball bit is that you still can't get paid in USD. And even sadder is that a teller at Ballantyne Park Spar will be paid about 15 million dollars and given to them as cheque. Now if one were to use the now hugely unpopular Old Mutual Implied rate which was a 101 billion on Friday, one looks at the exploitatiuon with disgust. In fact just using the street cheque rate you look at how sad the situation is for the real people on the ground.
In its own country the Zimbabwe dollar is now unofficially illegal.
Labels: Zimbabwe dollar
BREAKING NEWS: riot police fire teargas in Harare to disperse crowd
On the morning of the SADC troika's meeting with the three men of Harare riot police have fired teargas at a crowd near the venue of the talks.
It could not be ascertained at the time of the publishing of this blog, where these protestors were aligned to but a source close to the event said that they were likely to be supporters of the Morgan Tsvangirai's MDC-T.
More to follow...
Labels: protestors
Friday, October 24, 2008
tales of desperation? not in Zimbabwe
One big problem after another it happens to be in Zimbabwe. Walk into a Zimbabwean shop nowadays and just about every product is priced in US Dollars. That facility that was supposed to be for importers is now well working the locals as well.
Hey did you know that if you wanted Zimbabwe products you need to go to SA to get them. Oh not just SA but Botswana and Zambia and Mozambique. Oh they have bags of it there.
And you wonder why there is loads of hunger here. Which means that the number of gold diggers is going to rise exponentially. Oops that already happened didn't it? I mean let;s face it if a girl must survive in this environment she must have someone who funds their lifestyle.
It's much harder for a bloke although i have a friend who got an odd request the othe day while driving in town. Well he wasn't driving in town but he had just stopped somewhere to handle business and some woman calls him and says that she wants to be screwed and not later but there and then. When I say call him I mean right there and then not on the fone but in person. She didnt know him from a bar of soap but she saw him and wanted to get screwed.
He played along for a bit and when he saw how serious she was when she was in his car he backed off. Kinda weirdly and fantastically scary. I mean he was like I dont have rubbers and that didnt seem important to her at the ime.
She wanted to meet later and that didnt happen. Sjhe looked monied too so ah well... Maybe if he can hide it from his wife he could be her gold digger.
Labels: desperation, tales
Thursday, October 23, 2008
State of Emergency in Zimbabwe
There is no food for the masses
Most things are charged in United States Dollars even though the masses do not get that much
There are numerous rates for currency that keep squeezing as much as they can out of the masses.
Most kids are not going to school.
Hospitals are virtually closed
Businesses are lost somewhere between trying to get some food on the table and profiteering
You see this is not me being pessimistic. No I am fiercely optimistic about this country but the realities that are on the ground are affecting too many people. The leaders living in the comfortable ambiances don't seem to understand it.
In fact they should not really bother. We are already living in a state of emergency here.
Labels: Zimbabwe State of Emergency
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
pizza and coke, the trends that never change
In fact to that headline you could easily add a pair of jeans because some things never change. Give me jeans and t-shirt in the back of beyond in time and now, and unless you have j-lo's ass then noone really looks at you. Oops by the way she is not really called J Lo anymore is she. Now she has grown up and she is called Jennifer Lopez. Why not the name of that pointless husband of hers? Why not? Huh? Mind you a female friend who is as straight as well, the straightest thing out there thinks J Lo is the most beautiful woman in the world. We have ordered a pair of prescription glasses for her by the way.
So back to the things that don't change. Speaking of change have you heard the news about that bloke called Tsvangirai who is all about change and yet he is going the way of the old school.
Oh we are talking about the things that never change. yes those things. they annoy at times you see... The decisions and what happens after wards.
The errors of men never change really. Never ever change
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
stock market rallies, old mutual rate goes ballirtics
So today thanks to my trusted somebody I got the news from the stock market. Old Mutual was up again and TA was up as well
And while the trading rate for the US in cash today was about 250 million the old mutual rate was about 650 million. Only at the end of the day today, the rate was about 1.25bln
You see what used to happen is that traders used to follow that but it is just becoming a bit impossible now because you will simply price yourself out of the market. Imagine going into a shop and you are charged billions of dollars for something that is well, worth two dollars. It's ridiculous.
And it is primarily because the market and the system simply doesnt have that much money. It doesnt and that is a fact. It is the demented touch of a raving lunatic on the system that is making things so worthless here in Harare. The rate at which inflation is blowing the United States Dollar is amazing to say the list. I just got a quater the other day as change...
Well that's that
Labels: Old Mutual Rate dead
Monday, October 20, 2008
We are fed up, Mr Tsvangirai
We're in hell right now. Life is kicking the shit out of us. And yet you are the one moaning like a bitch!
The glorious hope that was so promised by you to the masses, making them believe that you really putting your partisan politics behind and getting on with the business of the people.
And how the world wanted to grant you that status with so much desperation, some idiot had you nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize. What a laugh.
A whole lot of hot air and jostling for positions while the children die. Back we blamed Mugabe but you are now just as culpable. Where is the sacrifice. Where is the place where you are supposed to rise above the noise and work for the people.
You have become a diva my friend. We are surprised that you did not ask for water fr0m the Arctic circle as well fresh roses dipped in the incense from a woman's bedroom in afghanistan while a member of the taliban watches.
We are fed up with your childish tantrums. We are sick of it and it is about time you became a man. We know it is a bit hard but for crying out loud the peoiple are on fire.
At some point you have to see the bigger issues. Make concessions, ask for concessions but don't give the impression that you are an honest broker. If you weren't going to Mbabane, why wait until late into Monday to say that you didnt because you didnt like A, B or C. Why waste people's time with all that rubbish? You are political joke Mr Tsvangirai!
You slap SADC in the face now and expect them to be redemptive? You expect to court them again when you treat them as if they are those who wallow in the dregs of slums and ghettos. IS it not you who said that you were working for the people. So where are the people in all this posturing?
You miss the point! And this is us being kind. But then again with your dim-wittedness you will miss that point as well.
Labels: Tsvangirai
damned if he didnt, screwed if he did
So Colin Powell endorses Barack Obama on Meet the Press this weekend and well it's huge. Well look at it this way.. Barack Obama, one of the most liberal Democrats on the market has been endorsed by a conservative icon.
Well I can't say I was surprised. Yeah he admitted race was an issue but not the issue but the reality on the ground is would you pass up the opportunity to jump on the Barack Obama bandwagon and be part of history. I mean the fact that Obie is a few streets ahead of McCain as a candidate for president could he really miss that chance, being a statesman of so great substance.
It does make the next two weeks interesting because there are people who could rally behind McCain because of this endorsement. But there might just be a chance that those who were centrist republicans could just jump ship and join ranks with Gen Powell.
It's a curious bit of business that is one thing for sure
Labels: Colin Powell endorsement
Friday, October 17, 2008
when pleasure hits the wall
The sadistic nature of the markets and life at the moment is making us wonder where the humanity in all of this went to. I mean what happend to the tenets that we subscribed to.
You see there was a time when we had become exceedingly efficient at weeding out the bastards from society but we seem to celebrate them a lot these days. Look the roster. Yeah well we are not going to give them time or space or maybe it is just the whole mental block thing. You don't know do you?
You see as it stands there is a way around things that don't really matter.
The sad thing is that in the dialogue between Mugabe and Tsvangirai the people don't matter. They never did. It is about two egos, and not necessarily that of those that have been given the illusion of power. That is just how the world works. We think we rule but we are nothing but pawns.
Chip the ice and you still won't see it because the pleasure of ignorance is fun... Match the tiger to the cloth and it will all make some sense. Not a whole lot but some of it will.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Deal very close; Tsvangirai could be PM by tomorrow
3mob has learnt from often very reliable sources that MDC leader Morgan Tsvangirai could be sworn in as Prime Minister of Zimbabwe by Friday. This comes in the wake of major concesssions made by President Robert Mugabe in the latest round of talks aimed at ending the impasse between the two major rivals.
Former South African President Thabo Mbeki who pushed the deal through is expected to attend the ceremony tomorrow
Labels: Tsvangirai swearing in
the word is recession baby
The Dow fell over 700 points yesterday and its cronies followed suit. Yes the brokers all screamed and asked why the proverbial Lord had forsaken them.
Recession is here and with it the end of the world. Well maybe not the world but try telling that to Lehman Brothers and other people who faded with its light.
But other than the JSE the emerging and well, dead markets were largely unaffected by the whole business. The banking crisis hit Zimbabwe in 2004 and well that's over. And that aside they have problems of their own there, what with the whole who-knows-what-it-really-is inflation there.
You see the major media networks are screaming murder and calling all types of people names for what is happening but only the daft didnt see this coming from a mile off. Mind you this might just be the thing that keeps Gordon Brown in power. After all, economics is his thing.
Now there are those that are still clinging to the hope that this is a minor eventy and life will be fine at a quarter past eight. Think again buster. The word is recession. Yes that thing that happens every now and again to keep things in check.
The cycle is over. Now you and not third world but you in the first world have to feel the pinch for a bit and pay for your sins. Then everything returns to normal and you get back to raping the poor
Labels: recession
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
inside KMAL's boardroom war
So when Kingdom was in a bit of a fix in 2004 John Moxon came in with a fistfull of dollars and bailed them out.
Then when he was not too fancied by Old Mutual John Moxon once again helped Nigel Chanakira out.
Then he had him leading KMAL until the day when they fell out.
Now the thing is some people have already been quick to call Moxon all types of names but in reality Moxon earned his keep. Together with the Miekles Trust they own 44% of the KMAL shares and put together with Old Mutual's shares they have 78%. And they both have agreed on the EGM where they are pushing for Chanakira's exit.
Econet and Afre with all due respect are rather insignificant and compromised.
Chanakira just wasn't cut out for it. From Banking to the big time... Too big a step I am afraid...
WHat is annoying however is how Nigel is playing the whole thing out in the media with that whole externalisation busines.
Oh what does he do if he wins it after dragging the company through a fair bit of mud?
Labels: KMAL issues
Friday, October 10, 2008
the dollar catches fire as the Reserve Bank flip flops over transfers
So there was another change in the way money moves this morning.
- Cheques will clear in twenty-four hours
- RTGS will be permissible between:
- banks
- accounts held by the same individual
- corporates and their employees for payment of salaries
Now what that might do is suddenbly have loads of people being employed by people they do transactions with so that they can technically not break the law.
My worry has always been the lax law systems in place. There are many people passing money under the table and no taxes are being paid for some of the most ridiculous transactions.
there are so many loopholes in the current system it is almost as good as not having one. Am not a fan of taxes but the electricity and water and the lot have to be paid for you know...
Labels: RBZ flip
Thursday, October 9, 2008
there is no door to knock on as ANC is on the brink
We saw this coming after Polokwane. The hacks didn't. They simply accepted it and moved on which was a departure from the business they usually get up to.
Lekota reckons that a split is inevitable now and it is all on the basis of that stupid word that nobody seems to know the meaning of... democracy.
Staying together was always going to be a big ask. It was a wonder how Zuma and Mbeki had once worked together because of the different styles they had.
The sad thing is that tribal references keep coming up here and this has not helped in polarising the party and South Africa in general.
But I am not saying anything that most people dont know. This is indeed a sad event for African liberation parties as the infighting that is going on seems to be pushing them to the limits. Somewhere along the line, one group loses sight of the issues and becomes involved in selfish actions that lead to the creation of factions within the country.
Both sides for a moment are right, but their hearts... not so well-placed
Labels: ANC split
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Interesting doors for Zimbabwe
So things are changing and people just don't see it. Yes the dealers are seeing their fortunes fading and screaming blue murder and cursing the heavens and everything else in between. But in some weird way it feels as if the corner has been turned.
It's not that we suddenly know where we are going but things have changed. Something in the soul was adjusted and ah well it is now going to be an interesting ride from here on. There will be screams and there will be ululation and then at the end of it all we will wonder what all the fuss was about.
So now because the RTGS and Internal-Account transfers have been suspended people are now working on ban cheque rate. Of course the hint I am getting from sources is that the reserve bank is on its way to blocking that option as well and check this, some rumours have it that if anyone has over hundred million dollars and cannot account for it, the state is getting its hands on it.
It is opening interesting doors I tell you. Tax evasion and all those other things are coming and it will be a lot of oops moments.
Labels: Zimbabwe changing
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Reserve Bank of Zimbabwe move little but not too late
The Reserve Bank of Zimbabwe moved last week to get a hold on the spiraling RTGS forex rate with a suspension of all RTGS transactions and then followed that up yesterday with a suspension internal bank transactions which meant that we now have cash, debit and err peanuts for payment.
On first look it appears as if this is a harsh move but it is something that was long overdue. There was a lot of fake money being made by the trade in forex at the imaginery RTGS rate leading to ridiculous parallel pricing.
To illustrate yesterday at Eastlea spar, a roll of sausages cost about 9 millon dollars. That is right 9 million dollars. That would mean of course that with your miserable 20 thousand from the bank you could not even dream of buying that. But Spar believed that with the minority buying and selling forex at an err astronomical rate they would make off these buy having these really high prices.
Now just round the corner next to Bon Marche is a butchery that will give you that same roll of sausages for about 20,000 dollars. Yes that is right 20 thousand dollars. Of course they didnt have debit card service but that seemed a lot more reasonable given the way things were.
Now this move puts a hold - until they find a way to beat the system again - on some serious profiteering. The market waits for a reaction because there is sure to be one to this latest move.
You see the sad thing is that patriotism only lives in a very small section of the population. The rich are dismissive of the poor and the poor hate the rich. The middle class, is well, non-existant at the moment so in reality we have nothing but a jungle that is looking for the next opportunity to make that bit of money.
These moves should be followed up by very concrete moves to create an option for making legal money. The regulations are there but they need to be enforced without exception. Otherwise then we will get back to the hell in no time...
That is of course if we get out of this bad business anytime soon. Cue Mugabe, Tsvangirai... Your turn now..
Labels: Reserve Bank of Zimbabwe
Thursday, October 2, 2008
the psychology of Mugabe, Mbeki and Tsvangirai politics
So the old man says that there will be a cabinet by end of the week and the young man's puppy says fat chance, let's bring in good old thabo.
Does good old Thabo fancy another trip to Zimbabwe to settle a fight between the two sides. Sure he would like to visit the country cause it is no fun sticking around in the hood if you've just lost your job is it? The thrill is gone. Sure they still call you Mr President but you are not president of the republic anymore. You're the former president of the country. And to be honest you are a bit tired especially getting that playground fight up north up to a point. Does your wife still fancy you since you're no longer top dog. Damn you can't stand the new top dog. You're sick of him. He dances and he has a weird puppy called Malema who wants to bite everyone. He almost bit you the other day.
So the old guy says he will get it sorted and he gets his puppy to say he doesnt need Thabo to come. But what if Thabz wants to come and chill with Bobby and Mo and that other one they call Artie. What the hell? What do you do?
A dead body and another dead body and more dead bodies. Surely they have to stop this cause I am the damn prime minister. The office is nice by the way. Very nice and I have an office right close to the old man. He is sweet. He is funny but he needs to stop fishing for my connections. Bloody hell I am the prime minister and it is fun. Well not unless the people in the streets stop screaming my first name. They need to call me by my surname damn it. Ingrates!
So there it goes... We don't no water let the motherf?kr burn... Why did I even censor that?
Labels: Psychology of politics
