Three Men On a Boat

So the HIFA fanfare rolls into town and the circus is on from tonight till Sunday. People excited and I have threats made against me at the moment cause I have said no thanks for personal reasons.

In the words of my friend Shiloh, I don't fancy the idea of watching people masturbate on stage. It is not in the same time zone as my idea of fun yeah?

Although I am in a bit of trouble with someone from the fairer sex because I will not attend the HIFA opening ceremony. She is giving ME a hard time and trying to go on the whole guilt trip.

You know, I am no hater and all cause they do organise a good festival. It is just that the essence of it all is out of touch and targeted at a minority. And that is just awful. Downright pathetic stuff you see and I am like we shouldnot really be standing for it in Zimbabwe 29 years after the fact.

That said I am not going to say anything against people who will choose to go there. That is a choice that is well within their rights. And it is in my rights not to attend.

Labels: HIFA 1

So then Kulula who are British Airways's budget airline ran an electronic advert a few weeks ago making a mockery of how Zimbabweans are supposedly flying a lot because they have fake IDs and are going SA to look for food and yet they get a lot of this business from these Zimbabweans.

Now I was particularly offended and there have been a lot of this sort of shenanigans over the last ten years especially from South African Djs. Now I am all for jokes but some are just in bad taste. And the really messed up thing is that there are ZImbabweans who join in on the act making a mockery of their own people.

And so I will leave that there



Except this time Nora Spies started a facebook page calling for Zimbabweans to boycott kulula services and I was like finally, someone who gives a shit.

And this has advanced to a stage where the advert has been pulled from live media accompanied with an advert.

So while everyone had their eyes on the whole Zuma case fiasco a few weeks back a little piece of news made its way into the middle pages. South Africa was giving an almost unconditional six month work and study permit to Zimbabweans in South Africa on asylum or whatever. Of course this seems all humanitarian and stuff but no nation has friends, just interests so the question would be what are the interests here and what happens now?

You see the fact of the matter, almost uncomfortable as it may seem to a lot of people is that South Africa has significantly huge section of its workforce coming from Zimbabwe and they are more often than not the highly skilled ones.

So is this move as benevolent as they would like to make it sound. I say not because the reality is that Zimbabweans have been casting their eye north and doing more than dreaming of a return home. That has set panic buttons all over the system cause what happens when you lose all those people and mostly because they do not have the right papers.

I mean it is not as if they will get kicked out after the sixth month period. I mean after all the World Cup is just around the corner isn't it?

Now the murmurings from sources of no particular repute is that South Africa is set to go one step further by suspending the requirement of a visa for Zimbabweans for two years from some time in May. In addition to that Zimbabweans would be allowed to stay for ninety days at a time. Now I cannot corroborate this but it makes for interesting reading.

Makes you think thought

Labels: South Africa visa Zimbabwe

So armed robbery is the new sex in Zimbabwe at the moment. Left, right, centre and left again, there are armed robberies the prominent feature of which is always pistols.

Now of course there are a fair share of the common people who are surprised by this but this had been coming a mile ago. Yes while everyone was asleep the dealers were buying guns and showing off. In effect owning a gun was the in-thing, you see.

If you didnt have a freaking gun and you were dealer, or never mind, if you didn't have a gun, you were a square. And ask an eight year old, squares just don't rock it. I mean I know people who were being offered guns for 100 rands in a club.

Now suddenly the deals are disappearing and these guys need a fix. The fast cash is gone yeah? And they need a gig. They have guns. And the shops have money. Quick cash. What more can you expect?

Gun culture is here. And it is not a cool threat.

Labels: zimbabwe gun culture

So I am back in my little city and you can't help but feel everything is a bit too close together given the size of jo'burg.

Of course the amusing thing is everyone asks you what you brought them from your trip out of town. And i am like what the duck? Someone tells me that it is a default question but by golly you have to give a brother a wee bit of a break. Gosh did i just turn scottish. The tragedy.

The diversity and beauty of Zimbabwe is really coming front and centre now and it is so beautiful it is not just almost but it is actually musical. It's like good sex on a bad day. Like what the hell right?

Like what is the next sex then? If we're all cool at what point are we going to kill it. I mean humans love killing a beautiful thing don't they. It's what they do. It is what we do. We don't like to keep a run going for too long. Too much pressure i guess and we don't like that sort of thing.

Who thinks this is all fun and worth it?

American slapstick comedy will have you believe that at school level it was a commonly frowned upon thing to be smart or anything related to the matter. In effect it was not a good idea to be brilliant at anything but being bad. That was the rule of thumb and that is how things worked. Period!

And then so when I was in SA and visiting friends at Wits I found myself being referred to as cheese boy. Now for those who may not know, a cheese boy is a person who generally a little richer than everyone else and lives in the suburbs. They are considered to be the sort that are detached from reality and all that sort of thing you see. So generally, bad idea to be cheese.

Now the thing is most people, when referred to a cheese boy or girl for that matter go up in arms feeling accused and all that sort of thing yeah? I mean how dare they accuse me of being richer and all that stuff. How dare they accuse me of being successful. The nerve of those people. Gosh!

And so they stay away from the people from ekasi(the hood) cause well they are made to feel that there is something wrong with having a bit more money than others. But then some of them cheese boys are just desperate to be white by the way.

In Zimbabwe they call these salads but the difference is that in Zimbabwe they are also associated with a lack of cultural upbringing and that sort of thing. So they are white, british or american wannabes. Salad? Cause they wanna have salad for lunch.

So cheeseboy me? Jury still out on that one but salad is a bit harsh.

Labels: salads and cheese boys