Three Men On a Boat

so i spent the whole night surfing the net and looking for past school mates and college mates on all the school reunion websites i could think of, the results i must say were rather disappointing.i found one lone person. i used to be in the same grade four class with this person a block who i never really spoke to. i was surprised i still remembered his name and surname . As i clicked his profile i almost sensed a desperation and excitement of a five year old unwrapping candy.well THE EXCITEMENT WAS SHORT LIVED he had lasted logged in july...july 2006 and there was no picture no details just his name.i immediately felt undone by the whole pursuit. I felt like the dogs had come back with no fox.

What was more saddening for me was the reality that i was actually happy to at least know one person. I consoled myself yet it eat me deep inside as i wondered about the rest who i shared my peanut butter sandwich and mazoe with over lunch or played the good old footer with all seemed to have just disappeared into thin air. somehow my failure to find anyone i regarded as being close to me, or to see an image over the net of someone i shared a past with seemed to throw the purpose of my whole existence into question,. it frightened me to think as independent as i am i had to look to other people to make me aware of my sense of being, i somehow felt i was floating on this sea which seemed to have no references the compass and human landmarks seem to have been swallowed into the belly of the earth, from primary school to high school to college, just one,

i felt my history had just been ruthlessly wiped out by fate and circumstance its crazy because when i try rationalise it i say to myself if they were really an important aspect of my life then wouldnt i know where they are? yet age does tricks to you it makes you worry about the past because you know you are nearing the end of your journey we all want to fight the good fight we all want to finish the race but enough for this idle reflection takes a man nowhere.

The boat needs to keep on going the oars of boat have been kept moving by the hand of one comrade, while the other two fell asleep at the back, one in pursuit of knowledge which he seems to know less and less of , the other ah well money and the fairer species.The human sense of wanting to belong is a strange and weird thing.

Labels: one hand on three oars